Mum guilt is a bitch. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with since being a mum. The sleepless nights, the coughs and colds that come with childcare, the toddler breakdowns – all a breeze compared to mum guilt.
Maybe it’s because I wasn’t prepared for it. Maybe it’s because I’m a person who seldom stresses but there are days where there always seems to be something to feel guilty about and those are the days where I feel stuck in this endless cycle of guilt.
There are days when I feel guilty about not playing with her enough. Not being present enough. Instead focusing on making sure the house is clean and that there’s a home cooked meal waiting to be served up. Then there are days where I am 100% focused on her and have spent the day playing with her, and then I feel guilty about the house not being tidy enough or about not having a meal cooking on the stove.
On days like these, I try to remind myself that life is meant to be lived. Things get a little messy, it can’t all be perfect and planned. As long as I go to bed at night with a heart full of love, tired limbs from a fulfilling day and a few more memories to relive at a later date, then I can’t complain.
So for those who suffer from the same thing, remind yourself that there are times for play. Times for tickles, dress ups and dance parties. There are times to clean and times where energy must be devoted to cooking. There are also times to hand your kid over to someone else for a while so you can go and let your hair down, times where you need to be left alone to sit in your pjs, devour Thai takeout and watch Gossip Girl reruns (of course, just an example). But above all, remember that you’re doing the best you can at handling the crazy world of motherhood and that you’re doing a damn good job of it.