JOURNAL: chaos

Well, my week started off really well.  I woke up just before my 5am alarm on Sunday morning, did some journalling, got myself ready and headed out for my 6k walk.  I listened to my audiobook (Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod) and then spent some time walking in silence reciting my affirmations.  Feeling good and loving the clear blue winter sky, I stopped in at my favourite vegan cafe, grabbed a Sinner-bun (cinnamon bun) and oat milk latte for breakfast while my car was being washed.  I was in absolute heaven.

Where I went – Sweet Bones Company

What I wore – I’d love to say this is my off-duty uniform but really it’s my everyday uniform this winter.  It’s comfy, warm and easy.

jacket – H&M

sweater – H&M

leggings – Lorna Jane

socks – Nike

sneakers – Nike

My blissful Sunday came tumbling down with a phone call mid-afternoon.  Standing in line at Woolworths waiting for my click-and-collect to be brought out to me, my phone started ringing.  Looking at my screen I see it’s Bella’s dad, Dan.  I assumed it would be Bella calling me back as I had tried calling her the day before.  Answering the phone in my ‘mummy’ voice, I was shocked to hear that it was Dan on the other end. He started telling me there had been an incident at the birthday party Bella had just attended.  Next thing I knew I was rushing through the shopping centre, chucking my groceries in the car without a second thought and on my way to Emergency.  I pulled up at the same time as them, and saw my little girl being carried out of the car by her dad, her face paint smudged from tears, she was pale and too dazed to speak.  Dan continued to fill me in on the walk into the hospital.

Bella had been playing with two close friends at the party when another kid had intentionally hit Bella in the head with a metal pole.  The force of the impact caused Bella to vomit and Dan feared she may have a concussion.  We checked her in to ED and were rushed through immediately.  Doctors and nurses fussed over her – checking her pulse, her oxygen levels and her pupil response.  They observed her reflexes, her speech and checked her bones for fractures.  Bella remained pale and apart from responding to the doctor’s questions, she barely spoke at all.  As a kid who can speak under water, her silence worried us even more.

Thankfully the final doctor concluded that she was not suffering from a concussion and finally sent us home.

I got home that night alone – Bella went back to her dad’s – and using Bella and her bravery as inspiration, realised it was time for me to do something I wished I didn’t have to do – rejecting a guy for the second time after he had forced his way back into my life over the weekend.

I had been enjoying my final night in Sydney the previous Friday. I was sitting in my hotel bed, scoffing my dinner without a care in the world when I received a text message from him.  He was someone I had gone on a couple of dates with back in March and although there was truly nothing wrong with him – he was attractive, had a good head on his shoulders and was just an all-round lovely guy – I felt absolutely no chemistry between us and ended things with him.

Skip ahead to last Friday night where he randomly messaged me asking how I am.  I knew writing back was a bad idea as it would give him hope but I felt I had no choice.  He hadn’t done anything wrong and had never been anything but sweet to me so he didn’t deserve to be ignored.  I also knew I couldn’t write back with a flat out, ‘REMINDER: I’m not interested’ without sounding psychotic so I wrote back.  I was polite, I engaged in casual conversation, but I spaced out my responses hoping he’d pick up on my vibes.  He didn’t.  Instead, he started to tell me how I was ‘ticking his boxes’…I’m sorry, but what?  Mate, you contacted me and now you’re telling me how I’m ticking your boxes.  You’re not the one who needs to be impressed here.  Following this comment on the Saturday night, I stopped responding.

He reached out again on Sunday (right before Dan called to inform me about Bella) and looking back I should have known it was the beginning of the end of my chilled out day… This time he tells me that I’ve probably realised he didn’t message just to see how I was.  He was messaging to see whether I wanted to start things back up between us.  As someone who has a really hard time being firm with people, I wanted to sugar coat my response to save his feelings however, using Bella’s bravery as inspiration (and a message my friend had drafted me), I wrote back telling him very firmly that things just wouldn’t work between but I wished him well.  He responded saying he understood and knew it was a long shot anyway.  I then put him out of my mind, went upstairs, showered and hopped into bed hoping not to hear from Dan during the night.

I woke up on Monday morning, checked my phone and saw nothing from Dan.  Relieved and eager to put yesterday behind me, I had my lemon water, did my hair and makeup, got in my gym gear, packed a change of clothes for work and drove to do another 6k walk before heading into the office.  Ten minutes away from finishing my walk, my phone rings and it’s Dan again.  He tells me Bella’s still not herself and that he’s on his way to mine to drop her off – we had discussed me possibly having the day off to take care of her if she wasn’t back to normal.  I rushed home and see the best sight I’ve seen in a week.  Her little legs running past the hedge outside our front courtyard.  Her little fist pounds on the front door and her face peers into our living room as she checks to see that I’m coming to answer the door.  We spent the day watching movies and talking and before I knew it, Bella was well and truly back to normal.

On Tuesday morning I hit a trifecta of confrontation for the week (rejecting the guy on Sunday night as confrontation number one). I woke up at 5am Tuesday to do my usual (yes, I’m claiming my 5am wakeups as ‘usual’ now) morning routine, to find a number of messages from one of my Airbnb hosts for my accommodation in France (which has now been optimistically postponed to 2022) and messages from the mother of the boy who had hurt Bella.  Dealing with the Airbnb host first – because, well, he’s holding a large sum of my money – I found that the refund I was given following postponing my accommodation another year was due to a miscalculation on his behalf and he was asking for me to pay it back.  Now usually I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid at this but what had seemed to happen was that he had recalculated the amount and, thinking he had then covered the full refund amount, had actually only requested half of what had been refunded.  He seemed to then realise this and promptly followed that request with a second which coincidently covered the second half of the refund amount.  The multiple miscalculations didn’t sit well with me as it was starting to reveal that I had been originally been overcharged.  I wrote back asking him to provide a bit more information and an explanation of how he had managed to make the error in the first place.  He instantly got angry and refused to provide me with the information I required, instead telling me I was being dishonest (I’m still confused about how I could be dishonest in this interaction) and told me that he doesn’t want me to stay at his place anymore.  He then requested I cancel my reservation.  I responded stating that I will not cancel my reservation as I won’t be refunded and that if he doesn’t want me to stay there, he should reject my reservation.  Airbnb are now doing their bit to refund me my money.

The second confrontation was from the boy’s mother from the birthday party.  I won’t share too much as I don’t want to feed any more energy into this but all I can say is that Bella was happily playing with her two girlfriends before the incident and she did not do anything to the boy to have him attack her.  Let’s also just note here that even if there had been a disagreement between Bella and the boy, there is absolutely nothing that could make this violence excusable despite what the other party may believe.  Needless to say, that friendship has now ceased and Bella is very content with the result.

Skip ahead to Friday and I was very keen for the weekend.  Bella and I had planned on having a sushi picnic while mama sipped on Pimms but apparently Ubereats had other ideas.  After the restaurant rejecting my first sushi order stating it was sold out of everything I had ordered, I attempted a second order.  This time I got another bounce back saying that one of the items I had ordered on this second order was now also sold out.  Switching this item over for something else, the restaurant finally accepted the order.  After 30 minutes of the restaurant ‘wrapping up’ my order and simultaneously seeing the delivery driver leave the vicinity presumably with another delivery from another restaurant and dropping it off in a completely different suburb, I refreshed the app.  The app now showed the restaurant was in fact, closed.  Thankfully the Ubereats support officer was incredibly helpful and put a freeze on my account preventing the restaurant from taking the money out of my account and cancelling the order.  We had leftover bolognese that I had cooked earlier in the week and I capped it off with a wine.

Bella and I finished the week off with a dinner at my parents’ house and Bella bouncing off the walls as her uncle gave her a double serve of chocolate ice cream after dinner.  Luckily I had already agreed to let Bella have a sleep over with mum and dad and I let them deal with the last of the sugar high while I went home to bed ready to bid adieu to what was an undeniably shit week and ready to start Sunday fresh.

Leave a Reply